


The Past Isn't Always Past

by ThisWasInevitable



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Sex, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, M/M, Pegging, Reader request, Trans Stern, Vaginal Sex, sternclay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 04:49:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisWasInevitable/pseuds/ThisWasInevitable
Summary: On a recon mission to the big city, Barclay hooks up with young FBI trainee named Joseph.Ten years later, Joseph Stern walks into the amnesty lodge and sets eyes on a man he thought he'd never see again





	The Past Isn't Always Past

**Author's Note:**

> A reader requested: Sternclay, hooked up years ago when stern was still in training and barclay was gathering information in northern Virginia. Now they’ve met up again in Kepler and they’re not sure what to do next

He’s supposed to be having fun. 

Instead, Joseph Stern sits surrounded by his increasingly drunk co-workers/co-students, all of whom are enjoying themselves far more than he is. They’ve survived another semester of training, and Stern is finally getting over a fairly painful break-up. 

He thought it’d be one celebratory drink and some food. Not this loud, dark restaurant bar with all of them hounding him him to, “get out there and get some ass.”

There’s no escape, given they’re his ride here and home. 

Unless….

In his direct sight-line, at the far corner of the room, a man sits alone. He’s tall, with dark hair and a short beard. Going by how he’s dressed, he’s not from the city. There’s an empty spot on the bench next to him. He’s also rather handsome, but that’s not important right now. 

Stern excuses himself, steps off the barstool and crosses to the man, his companions hooting encouragement behind him. 

He sits down next to his target, who starts at the sudden invasion of his space.

“Hello.” Stern says as normally as he dares with his coworkers still watching.

“Uh, hi? Can I help you?” A soft, deep, voice asks.

“You can.” Stern sets a hand on the man’s upper thigh, speaks quickly, “My friends over there are not going to stop bothering me unless it looks like I am successfully picking someone up. I am so miserable, I will literally pay you if I have to to play along, please.”

He holds his breath as the man considers him, brown eyes moving from baffled stare to conspiratorial glimmer. 

“Yeah, think I can help you out.” He reaches his arm around Sterns shoulder, leans close, “your friends sound like dicks. How’d they drag you out?”

“We’re supposed to be celebrating completing a course of FBI training. I was promised dinner.” Stern turns to fully face him, back to his friends. 

“WOOO get it Joey-boy.”

Stern makes a frustrated growling noise, “I hate that fucking nickname.”

“What should I call you instead?”

“Joseph.”

“Congrats on… not dying in FBI training, Joseph.” The man is clearly trying not to crack up as he and Stern put on an increasingly exaggerated show of flirting.

“Thank you…”

“Barclay.” The larger man takes his hand, lifts his wrist up to his mouth but pauses before reaching it, kissing the air instead, “You, uh, wanna get away from prying eyes?”

“Please.” 

Barclay pays his tab on the way out, holding Sterns hand as he does. When they get outside, he drops it and takes a step back, giving Stern his space.

“Thank you, for that. I should probably call a cab or something to get home.”

“You sure I can’t tempt you to dinner?”

Oh dear, Stern thought he’d been clear that he wasn’t actually interested in anything beyond getting the hell out of there. 

“In, like, a friendly way I mean, not as a date. It sounds like you did something real important, should at least celebrate in a way you actually like.” Barclay shrugs, the kind of gesture meant to convey genuine contentedness with any outcome. 

“Alright. There’s a diner six blocks down that I like. If you want to join me, I wouldn’t mind. But there won’t be any sort of ‘hook up’ happening.”

“Fine by me. After you.” He smiles, and Stern looks him over one more time.

“No hook-up.”

Barclay nods, “no hook-up.”

\-------------------------------------------------------

Barclay tastes like malted chocolate when Stern kisses him against the door. The apartment is still dark, Stern not bothering to flip the lights on before making his move. 

A low laugh rumbles out of Barclay, and a strong hand grips either of Sterns shoulders. 

“Thought you said no hook-ups?” His smile is teasing, and so tempting that Stern licks a stripe up his neck before answering. 

“I changed my mind. You, you’re just so” he runs his hands up that broad chest, tugging at the shirt with a whine.

He wants to say that Barclay made him laugh in a way that left him feeling lighter than he had in months. That his shape, tall and muscular, and gentle demeanor made Stern feel safe for reasons he’s too shy to name. 

But he knows better than that, knows better than admit vulnerability on the first date. Before he has a chance to break that rule, Barclay saves him. 

“You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes most of the night babe, think I can put together what happened.” He kisses him, testing the waters between them, keeps his face close when pulls back. 

“You wanna fuck me?”

Sterns jaw hits the floor. 

“Yes. But uh, we, that is I, I’m” he huffs, frustrated at how his need to have Barclay naked now is interfering with his ability to communicate something important. He grabs one large hand, brings it between his legs and holds his breath.

Barclay thumbs at the crisp slacks, tracing the edge of the packer before moving his fingers lower, pressing and rubbing gently. Stern watches his face carefully, but the larger man doesn’t so much as bat an eye.

“Guess we’ll be getting creative then. C’mon, handsome, take me to bed.”

Stern wastes no more time, pulling Barclay down the hallway to his small bedroom. Their kisses are moving from eager to demanding, Barclay growling and tugging at his lips and ears with his teeth, Stern ripping off various items of clothing as if they’re doing him a personal insult just by being in the way. Doesn’t stop until Barclay’s down to his boxers and he’s in his undershirt and briefs. When Stern goes to pull the boxers down, Barclay stops him with a wicked grin.

“Do it with your teeth.”

Stern falls for his knees like he’s asking for salvation. Mouths at the half hard cock beneath the plaid fabric. Smirks up when Barclay offers a little moan of thanks, then guides the underwear down with his teeth, growling softly. 

Then he’s staring at Barclays cock so intently he might be cross-eyed. If it was impressive straining against his jeans, it’s downright monstrous waiting for him between thick, muscled thighs. 

He brushes his finger along the shaft and Barclay groans.

“You can, nnnh, tease me later, babe. Now go get ready.”

Stern rises, fishes out the lube and a box of condoms from his dresser, rummages through the closet for his harness and strap-ons. Pulls the two options out, holding them out so Barclay, now reclining on the bed, can take his pick.

“The left one.” He nods at the larger of the two, tears a condom wrapper open, slipping his finger into it.

Stern fits the strap-on into the harness, then curses under his breath when he has to adjust the straps. 

The springs of his seen-better-days mattress groan, and when he glances up he sees why: Barclay is rapidly opening himself up on his fingers, heavy breathes and small grunts of effort making Stern fumble with the harness more than usual.

When he finally makes it onto the bed, Barclay tosses the condom into the trash. 

“You good if I’m facing away from you?” 

“Y-yes, whatever you want.” Stern can’t get the lube open now. He doesn’t understand it; he hasn’t stammered like this, hasn’t had his nerve jangling with excitement in this way, since he was frantically fucking his first boyfriend on a couch in his parents basement. 

“Here” Barclay sits forward, takes the bottle from him and squeezes some out, rubbing it along the shaft of the toy. Stern can’t feel a thing, of course, but something about easy intimacy of the gesture has him darting forward for a kiss. 

When Barclay finally turns over, arms wrapping around a pillow so he can rest his cheek on it, Stern traces his fingernail along the curve of his ass. When he presses inside, there’s a hiss and a low groan.

“Should I go slower?”

“Nope, get it all the way in babe. Trust me, I can take it.”

“If you say so, but I reserve the right to say “I told you so” if this ends in a trip to the ER.”

“You got itAH, ah fuck, oh damn, that feels good.” Barclay pushes back just as Stern pushes forward, the base of the toy coming flush with his ass. 

Stern leans forward, trailing kisses down Barclays neck and back. One hand gropes along his chest, grazing his nails lightly down through the dark hair on onto his stomach. The other reaches around to tease along his inner thigh as Stern moves slowly back and forth. 

“Mmmm, not shy at all are you?” Barclay arches his back when Stern drags his nails along his sides.

“How can I be? There’s so much to enjoy.”

A flush creeps along Barclays back and Stern grins, kisses along the shell of his ear. 

“How do you want it?”

“Hard and fast babe.”

Stern shifts back up, draws slowly back out. Then he snaps his hips forward and Barclay yelps.

“Fuck! Like that, oh yeah, oh baby just like that.” Barclays head drops back down to the pillow. From the muffled growling sounds, he’s biting it.

“You like that, big guy?” The words slip out and he’s about to apologize for how porny they sound when Barclay whimpers and nods. 

“Oh hoh, does someone like walking around knowing that everyone is thinking about how big and strong he looks?”

Another nod, another whimper and this time Stern punctuates his words with the sharpest thrusts he can manage, “You are rather _big_” here he circles his hand underneath Barclay and tugs once, roughly, at his cock, “but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have your ass pounded open now and then.”

The moan that escapes Barclay is full-throated and Stern laughs, voice a sing-song parody of concern “oh, poor Barclay, has it been awhile since anyone did this to you?” 

“Uh huh, oh god, Joseph, babe, please, I want it rougher, I’m so close, fuck.” Barclays head is turned sideways and so Stern can see his eyes squeeze shut in concentrated bliss. 

He follows a hunch, slaps Barclay lightly on the left side of his ass.

“Yes,yesyesyes, do that that again.” 

Stern complies, harder this time and Barclay makes a choked, gasping noise of thanks.

“You big ones always do need a firm hand, don’t you.” Stern purrs,threading his fingers into that dark hair and yanking hard.

Barclay howls in a way Stern assumed humans couldn’t up until now, tries to fight his way back down towards the pillow. Stern holds him fast, watches the muscles in his back tighten and the ones in his thighs quiver as he comes on the bed. 

Stern releases him, pulling out as quickly as he dares and removing the harness with the same speed. 

“Fuck, that felt good.” Barclay turns, sitting as he does so to give Stern sex-drunk smile, “You were amazing-what are you doing?” He’s looking between Sterns legs, where the other man is hurriedly fucking himself.

Stern pauses his movements, “Getting off? You came, so I assumed you wouldn’t want to do anything else.”

Barclays face is doing the thing again, where his eyebrows make a break for his forehead and his mouth fights to stay in a neutral line. It’s the same thing it’d done when Stern had described his coworkers fondness for pushing his buttons or how his ex had left him after telling him he was too smart for his own good.

“Babe, if there’s something else you want, I’m happy to do it.” Barclay crawls the small distance between them, nudges Sterns hand aside so his own can take it’s place. He stays on the outside, stroking in slow circles that offer the barest relief to the ache Stern feels.

“Could do this until you come in my hand, or I could suck your dick. Hell, gimme a few minutes to recover and you could ride my cock if that’s what sounds good.” He’s dotting small kisses on Sterns cheek and jaw, voice honey-thick with desire. Stern wants to drown in that tender baritone, wants to open himself up to Barclay and let him fill in all the dull, bare spaces of himself.

“You really want to know what sounds good right now?”

“Damn right I do.”

“I want you to fuck me two ways at once.”

“You mean…” An excited smile is spreading on that handsome face.

“You can use the smaller toy on my ass while I ride you.”

“Fuckin-A” Barclay says, putting more awe into the word than should be possible, “are you always this wild?”

Stern shakes his head, “no. Just something about you.”

Barclay cups his cheek, kissing him sweetly, “Now if that’s not the most flattering thing I’ve heard in months, I don’t know what is.”

They take a minute to get arranged in a way that works, settle on Barclay sitting on the edge of the bed with Stern straddling his lap. They kiss lazily, giving Barclay time to recover. Stern works the toy into himself rapidly (“now who’s gonna end up in the ER?” “not a word, big guy.”)

Gradually, Barclay perks back up, and soon his cock is brushing, hot and heavy, on Sterns thigh. He gets a condom, rolls it down, Barclay watching intently as he does.

Stern eases himself down, moaning, Barclays beard tickling his throat as he kisses it. The stretch is considerable, made more intense by the pressure from the toy. As he adjusts, he guides one of Barclays hands around to grip the base. The other hand wraps around his waist just as he braces his own on either shoulder. 

“Can’t have you falling off.” He whispers.

“Barclay, my eventual profession requires me to have expert coordination and balance.”

“Pretty sure they don’t mean for this kind of situation, agent.” He teases, bumping their noses together.

“Oh no?” Stern raises an eyebrow, rises up until he’s only taking the head before sinking back down. He repeats the motion, fast and efficient, Barclay grunting first in surprise and then in pleasure as Stern fucks himself up and down on his cock. 

“Alright, if you say you can take it, ah fuck, then I believe you.” 

It’s Sterns turn to yelp in surprise as Barclay pulls the toy halfway out before shoving it back in, matching Sterns pace. His breath is already coming in sharp, broken moans, and Barclay chuckles, uses the arm around his waist to press them closer together. 

“Shit, you feel so fucking good on my cock, especially when you’re taking it in two holes.”

Sterns too focused on chasing his orgasm to respond, kissing Barclay in lieu of an answer. He’s so close, he’s been wound up so long and he wants to come, he needs to, he’s going to die if Barclay finishes first and leaves him wanting. 

Barclay thrusts the toy harder than before and Stern cries out, tightening around him.

“That’s it, babe, take it, you’re so greedy you wanted me two ways, you’re gonna take me as hard as I want.”

“Oh myfuckinggod.” Stern moans, lust spreading like lava through his system. 

“I fucking knew it” Barclay rumbles, “you like how big and strong I am too. Like that I could fucking break you apart on my cock.”

Stern whines, nodding even as he kisses him messily, clenching again on another hard thrust.

“Fuck, you keep doing that I’m gonna come in you so hard I’ll blackout.”

“Don’t you dare come yet, please, please I’m so close.” He tugs on Barclays hair again, which backfires. The man throws both arms around him, coming with an animalistic noise that he stifles against Sterns shoulder. 

Stern whimpers in frustration as he pulls out, but as soon as his cock disappears his hand is there pawing Sterns dick as the the other continues ramming him with the toy.

“Oh yes, oh _yes_, godyesthankyou.” 

“Did you think I was gonna leave you unsatisfied babe? Not a fucking chance, wanna make you feel so good, gonna fuck you so well you scream my name.”

“Shit, like that, Barclay, please, BarclayAH!” Stern comes hard, riding out his climax on a rough palm. Feels the toy be pulled out and hears the thud of it being tossed elsewhere. He rests his head on Barclays shoulder, shaking, and the world shifts as the other man rolls them easily onto their sides.

“See, told you you’d scream my name.” 

“For the sake of my relationship with my neighbors, I hope it wasn't actually that loud.”

Barclay laughs, brushing Sterns hair from his sweat-sticky forehead. He’s exhausted, he’s a mess, and he feels filthier than he has in years. 

It’s exquisite. 

“Thank you, for that.”

“Any time. Well, not any time, I’m only in the area for, like, three more weeks.”

“The off to the middle of nowhere, right?”

“Kepler isn’t the middle of nowhere, but it’s pretty fucking close. Anyway, point is, I’m not opposed to doing this again before I leave. But if you need it to be a one-time deal, no pressure.”

“I may take you up on it. “ He takes Barclays hand, counts the scars on it, “if you like, you can spend the night.”

Barclay sighs, “really, really wish I could, but I gotta meet a work contact early on the ass-end of town tomorrow. I should head out pretty soon. But uh,” he scoots closer on the formerly pristine bedding, “more than happy to cuddle until then.”

And so he stays, holding Stern close and kissing him happily until it’s time to go. Stern walks him to the door, phone number to his hotel room saved into his cellphone. 

He contemplates not calling it for all of thirty seconds the next day. Then he leaps from that self-denying train of thought and onto one where he calls Barclay and asks if he’d like to come over again.

Over the next three weeks, he and Barclay spend nearly every night together. On the rare nights they can’t, he ends up calling his hotel. If the other man is there, his evening ends furiously fucking himself with a toy or his hand or, on one occasion, humping a pillow as per Barclays instructions. 

He finds that having a known end point makes the relationship pleasant for them both. They indulge in all the fun parts of dating, safe in the knowledge that in three weeks they can part ways without any hurt feelings. Barclay brings him flowers, they cook together in his tiny kitchen, go out to eat and even on a few “date-dates” as Barclay calls them. They tell each other things that only people who are quite sure they’ll never see each other again confide in one another (oddly, their last names are never among the pieces of information shared). Stern admits to only being a few months into his T and wishing certain changes came faster. Barclay tells him about his worries that his close friend and boss is working herself to an early grave. 

When Stern admits that his last partner refused to go down on him because his body was “too gross” for that, Barclay makes a face suggesting he’s annoyed on his behalf before summarily yanking his pants down and burying his face between his legs. Stern makes so much noise as he sucks him off that he finds a complaint from his neighbors the next day. Barclay teases him about it, then promptly gags him with one of his own ties and sucks him off twice in a row.

On their last morning together, Barclay makes him fancy breakfast, kisses him a dozen times between putting his shoes on and reaching the door. There are no tears, no sadness, simply a final kiss marking the natural, expected end of a good thing. 

Barclay smiles at him one last time, tells him that if he’s ever in Kepler, he should look him up.

Stern says he will, even though they both know this is the last time they’ll see each other. 

After all, what could possibly lead him to Kepler?

\---------------------------------------------------

Barclay drops the plates for two reasons.

One, of course, is that hearing an FBI agent from the UP division is looking into Bigfoot (goddamn Ned Fucking Chicane and his video) is jarring. 

The other is that the voice is familiar, maybe a little deeper than when he last heard it, and when he hazards as glance he knows that face. 

Blue eyes, black hair that’s now slicked back and professional (it had been a little freer ten years ago). A fine-boned face, a mouth that he knows the expressions of, knows the taste of. 

So, Josephs last name was Stern. He’d always kind of wondered what it was. But this is the absolute last way he wanted to find out. 

There’s no chance Stern doesn’t see him, every head in the room turns at the crash. 

He cleans up and hurries off as fast as he can, prays that if nothing else Joseph no, Agent Stern, doesn’t stay here. 

Approximately an hour later, he’s standing outside the room now registered to one “J.Stern.”

Honestly, how is it the one time Ned and Aubrey can’t cook up a decent lie is the time that results in him basically living with an FBI agent who is looking for him?

He knocks.

“Come in.”

He steps inside, plan clear in his head: he is going to act like he has never seen Stern before in his life. It was ten years ago, maybe Stern doesn’t even remember him. 

“Afternoon agent stern, just wanted to drop these pillows off, sorry the room wasn’t as ready to go as it should have been.” It’s his most casual, customer service voice, and Stern isn’t even looking at him, busy carefully folding the contents of his suitcase and putting it in the small dresser. 

“Hello, Barclay.” He says quietly. 

“Hello to you too, if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask-”

“Barclay, I know what you’re trying to do.” Stern smiles, soft and small. 

Barclay deflates, “Sorry, didn’t every expect to see you here and I didn’t want to make things...weird by banking on you remembering me.” He sets the pillows on the bed, shoves his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking.

“We got to know each other rather well. I’d know you face anywhere. I’m amazed, you look like you’ve barely aged a day.”

Barclay makes a mental note to ask Indrid to adjust the enchantment the next time he’s in town. 

Sterns face suddenly loses it's softness, becomes neutral and professional, “Anyway, what I’d ask is that you not mention our past anyone. And that we can agree to treat each other in a cordial manner but not pursue anything beyond that.”

“Sure thing.” Barclay nods, “wouldn’t be great for me to hit on a guest anyway.”

“Good. Well, I will see you around.” He goes back to his folding and Barclay leaves the room, shutting the door gently behind him. 

It’s fine. They’re both adults. It was ten years ago, and wasn’t all that serious. Besides, if he wants to spend his life not in area 51 or somesuch, he should give Stern a wide berth. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

He makes it five days without masturbating while thinking about Stern. 

And the longer Stern is there, the more Barclay realizes he has a different problem from the one he assumed he had.

Being horny for Stern he can handle, although the cut of Sterns suit and the quiet, confident air he exudes means he’s handling it (and himself) more than he thought he’d be. 

But he’s falling for him. 

It starts out small; Stern will sit, going over his notes, at the little bar in the restaurant. Barclay will refill his coffee and feel the agent watching him as soon as he turns his back. 

One day, he slides a piece of pie across to him.

“I didn’t-”

“On the house. I’m testing a new recipe and could use some feedback.”

Stern takes a bite and promptly lets out the exact same moan he did the first time he sucked Barclay off. 

Maybe this was a bad plan.

“What is this?”

“Spiced chocolate creme pie. Hoping to put it on the winter menu. Need some fancier sounding stuff in case any well-off skiers stop in here.”

“Do you get a lot of traffic in winter?”

“A little more. But the lodge is out of the way, and it’s not really what your average rich vacationer is looking for.”

“I think it’s lovely. The pie and the lodge. It’s homey, somehow.”

That conversation is the floodgate to dozens more, Stern taking to working on all but the most confidential tasks at the bar. Barclay watches him retract his shields little by little. 

One night, after the water abomination is dealt with, Barclay finds him soaking in the springs. 

“I’m glad these are working again.”

“You and me both.” Barclay restocks the outdoor towels, forcing himself to look everywhere but at Sterns bare torso.

“Do you do all the housekeeping too?”

“Kinda.” He shrugs, “Dani and Jake help sometimes, so does Mama when she can. But, well, we don’t have a ton of money to pay for staff. Mama takes our long-term residents on a...sliding scale.”

“That’s very good of her” Stern is facing him, arms resting on the edge of the pool.

“She wants to be the place where people who have nowhere else to go can feel safe.”

“That does explain why some of them are so wary of me.”

“Yeah. Some of them ain’t had the best of luck with authority. But they’re good people. A lot of them are like family to me.”

Stern smiles warmly, “So you’re basically running around all day looking after them.”

“Yep.”

“Come on” Stern pats the stone ground, “rest your feet for a minute.”

Barclay settles on the damp ground and slips off his shoes. Sighs as his feet sink into the water.

“I can see why you like it here. Back then, it seemed like leaving the excitement of the city was for people who didn’t want much from life but-” he reclines against the edge of the pool, “but the older I get, the more I come to like places where there’s stillness. Where the bright lights haven’t vaporized the dark corners where mysteries like to hide.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great out here, at times.”

Even better now that you’re here , he thinks but does not say

The death knell of his resolve comes the night of the sinkhole. 

He’s in his room, recovering from the last few days and thanking every power in both Sylvain and Earth belief systems that the abomination is gone. 

There’s a hurried knock, followed by “Barclay? Are you in there?”

He opens it, and Stern sighs in relief as soon as he does. 

“Oh thank god. I got back from the situation in town, and asked if anyone had seen you and no had for awhile and, and” he meets his eyes, “and I was so worried you’d been hurt somehow.”

“Nope, safe and sound.”

Stern steps forward, hesitates, then wraps his arms around him. Barclay hugs him back immediately.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Same to you.” Barclay murmurs, resting his chin on Sterns head. 

Stern seeks him out more after that. It’s never for sex, never for anything romantic, but somewhere in the next month they make the jump to friends. Barclay thinks about him every night, wishes that he was curled up next to him in those fancy, matching pajamas he’s seen him in a few times. 

But Stern had been clear about his limits and so Barclay keeps his hands and filthy thoughts to himself.

It’s mid morning in February when he knocks on Sterns door with some fresh towels. There’s no answer, which is unsurprising given that Stern has been doing a lot of field work. He flips to master key on his carabiner and opens the door. 

It takes him two seconds too long to recognize the noises he’s hearing, and in those two seconds he reaches a point where he can see the bed. The noises are the whimpers and sighs someone makes when they’re being quiet not from shame, but out of courtesy to others who could be within earshot. 

Stern is on his back on the bed, shirt off and hand shoved down his pajama pants. His laptop is open, cord leading from it to the headphones blocking his ears. Barclay can’t see the screen, but he can guess what’s on there. 

Stern whimpers, spreads his legs wider.

He needs to leave. He needed to be out the door already. He needs not to be watching the way Sterns abs tighten as he fingers himself, not hearing the needy sounds leaving his throat. 

“Barclay” Stern whines and shit, he shouldn’t have heard that, backs away from the bed.

His elbow catches the lightswitch, plunging the room into darkness. 

“Shit” he hisses as Stern abruptly sits up, bumping the laptop and pulling his headphones off in the process. 

By the time he has the light back on, Stern is staring at him, blush spreading down his chest and hand slapped over his mouth. 

In the space left by their shared silence, tinny voices come through the headphones

“Oh yeah, that’s it slut, take it.”  
“Fuck, you’re so big, it’s so much.”

Stern wordlessly and hurriedly slams the laptop closed, but before he does Barclay sees an actor on the screen who looks very much like himself.

Stern looks at him, eyes still wide. 

“Brought clean towels” Barclay holds them out, a paltry apology.

“How long were you there?”

“Like, thirty seconds?”

“So you heard…”

“Yeah, I did. I’m so sorry, no one answered when I knocked and you’re usually out this time of morning.” He sets the towels on the little desk. 

“Yes, chasing one dead end after another. I decided to take a day to blow off some steam. So to speak. I’m sorry I didn’t put up the little do not disturb sign. And that you had to see that.” 

“See what?”

“Me clearly no holding up my end of our agreement.” He’s looking away from Barclay now, studying the pattern of the carpet as if it;s immensely interesting. 

“Hold up.” Barclay sits down next to him and he doesn’t budge an inch, “we said no to having a relationship, not that we couldn’t think about each other. Fantasy is fair game for whatever. If it isn’t, I think we’re both in trouble.”

“You mean you’ve...thought about me as well.”

Barclay smiles at Sterns habit of putting things discreetly, “Yeah, I have.”

“I’m trying so hard, Barclay. You have a life here, one in which I’m an interloper. But I still...I want to be with you.”

“So be with me.” Barclay says softly, reaching for his hand. Stern turns his palm up to receive it, though he still won’t look at him. 

“Stern-”

The agent shakes his head, “please. That’s all anybody calls me these days. I just, I want someone to.”

“Joseph.”

This time he looks at him, blue eyes far too tired.

This time, when Barclay tugs on his hand, he falls forward, resting their foreheads together. Barclay eases backwards and Stern follows him, shifting on top of him so they’re face to face. 

“Can I kiss you?” Stern strokes his cheek. Barclay lifts his head, closes the distance for the briefest of moments, the feeling of Sterns lips on his igniting dozens of memories. 

Then Stern buries his fingers into Barclays hair, bringing their mouths together. Barclay wraps his arms around him, let’s him set the intensity. If all Stern wants is to be held while Barclay treats his mouth like the delicacy it is, he’ll gladly do that and nothing more. 

But Sterns hips are moving, and he’s whimpering into the kiss, abandoning his hold on Barclays hair to tug and claw at his shirt.

“Need something, babe?”

“You. God, Barclay, please.” Stern his nuzzling his neck, gasps when Barclay slides his hands beneath the silky fabric of his pants and squeezes.

“Fuck, how has you ass gotten nicer?” His fingers dip lower, find the base of something firm and silicone. He presses on it and Sterns hands fist into his shirt.

“You don’t fuck around when you jack off, do you?” He teases, tugging the plug out slightly before slowly pushing it back in.

“I was thinking, oh god this is embarrassing.” Stern whines and mouths at his neck as he keeps toying with him, “I was thinking about the night we met.”

“You were laying here and fucking yourself thinking about having me two ways at once, huh?”

Another shy whine and Barclay growls, “Answer me, _agent_.”

“Yes. Fuck, fuck why does that sound so arousing when you say it?”

“Because you’re a needy little mess for me.” Barclay is tugging his pants down, revealing Stern inch by inch, “I could call you anything I wanted and you’d still spread yourself for me.”

Stern sits up, kicking his pants to the floor, and fumbling with Barclays belt. Barclay stops his hands, kisses each one in turn, keeps his eyes locked on Sterns as he whispers, “You want me to fuck you two ways, babe?”

“Oh yes, oh please.”

“Lay on you back and get comfy.” He lets go and Stern scrambles off of him.

“I have what we need in my dop kit, one moment.”

Barclay strips off his shirt, shoes, and socks in a hurry. But he waits for Stern to come back and settle before removing his pants. He hadn’t realized he missed watching those blue eyes go wide with excitement at the sight of his cock until now. 

As soon as he climbs onto the bed, Stern opens his legs so he can crawl between them. He eases the toy out, starts unrolling a condom. 

“Seemed like you were watching some pretty rough stuff when I came in. You want me to act like that guy in the video?”

Stern nods, then adds, “except for that, that word. I don’t want to be called that.”

“You got it, babe.” He nudges the head of his cock against Sterns ass and watches his fingers immediately twist in the sheets. Pushes in the first inch, groans when he feels the tight muscle give, the heat of Sterns body welcoming him back. 

“Shit” Stern breathes out, “shit, I forgot how big you are.”

Barclay chuckles, “no, you didn’t. You remembered how much we both get off on you saying that.”

“Nothing gets past you, big guy.”

Barclay hums in pleasure at the pet name, watches Stern arch of the bed as he eases the rest of the way in.

“You should see yourself, babe, see the way my cock looks in your ass. You’re so tight, worried I might break you if I go too hard.” This he purrs against Sterns ear, kissing him sweetly before shifting back up, “but then I remembered; you’re so needy and desperate for my cock that you skipped work” he lets his tone go clipped on those last three words, “just to fuck yourself while wishing it was me.”

“Oh fuuuuuck.” Stern pants as Barclay leisurely rolls his hips.

“So I’m going to _wreck_ you, agent, I wanna see you fucked open and screaming, because that’s what you deserve, isn’t it?”

“Yesyess, AH, oh fuck Barclay, shit that’s a lot.” Stern bucks his hips as Barclay shoves two fingers in, groaning at how wet and ready he is and from knowing that he’s been soaking his fancy pajamas thinking about Barclay.

“That ain’t nothing.” He grins before adding two more and Stern yelps, twists on the mattress and Barclay takes that as his cue to start pounding him. 

Stern moans in time with the bedboard hitting the wall and Barclay revels in it, watches his thighs flex and strain under the effort to stay open enough to take him. 

“Careful, wouldn’t want another noise complaint.”

Stern blushes, turning his cheek against the pillow with bashful, nostalgic smile. 

“Unless you want them to know you liked getting fucked into the mattress.”

It’s only because his hearing isn’t human that he hears that breathy “yes” that Stern whispers into the pillowcase. 

“You _do_ like that, you like the idea of everyone knowing the scary, smooth FBI agent likes taking it up the ass. That’s, oh fuck yeah, fine as long as they know that this ass is _mine_.” He thrusts harder, faster, “everyone’s gonna know, agent, everyone's gonna know you want cock so bad you’re crying for it.”

Stern furrows his brow, touches the corner of his eye and seems surprised when his finger comes away wet, amused smile playing across his face when he looks at Barclay. 

“You do know, nhhnahh, just like that, how to take me apart.”

Barclay laughs, a low rumble that never fails to send a flash of pink up Sterns cheeks, and shifts his hand so he can rub at Sterns dick. The agents heels dig into the sheets, one losing it’s purchase and hitting Barclays leg instead. 

“That’s it, babe, that’s it, come for me, goddamn, I forget how amazing your ass feels when you’re getting close.”

Stern gasps, one hand gripping Barclays shoulder as he comes. Barclay pulls his hand away, dropping down to kiss him through it, fucking him urgently. 

Pain flashes through him as Stern recovers enough to pull his hair, grinning at him when he yips in surprise. 

“You still need a firm hand, big guy.” He drags his teeth down Barclays neck and low, dangerously not-human growl echoes out of his chest. 

“This, fuck, from the guy with my cock in his ass.”

“Mmmmm, it’s cute how you think you’re calling the shots, instead of fucking me like a man who’s gone far too AH, long without getting laid and is, fuck, desperate to pleaseOHoooohfuck_fuck_, Barclay.” Stern holds on for dear life as Barclay fucks him hard, bringing one hand to grip the headboard for leverage and the other to leave bruises in Sterns thigh. His moans are bordering on ragged screams when the coil in Barclays gut snaps and he comes, groaning his name.

Sterns legs are shaking when Barclay pulls out and collapses onto the bed. Nimble fingers play with his hair as Stern cuddles against him. Barclays kisses his chest, then his shoulder, before Stern tilts his head down for a kiss. 

“Live up to your memories?” He mumbles.

“Surpassed them.” Stern sighs.

“Joseph?”

“Yes?”

“When you said you wanted to be with me, did you mean only like this?”

Stern bites his lip, “no. If it’s also what you want, I would like for us to be...boyfriends, for lack of a better word. We may have to keep it a secret though, at least for now.”

“Yeah, good call on that one.”

“So you do want to be my boyfriend?” Stern’s face is full of fearful, child-like hope as Barclay looks at him.

“Of course, babe.”

They’ll talk later, about what all this means, about the things Barclay needs Stern to know. 

But for now, they’ll fall asleep in each others arms, and Barclay will marvel at how he got lucky enough for his past to catch up with him in good way, for once.


End file.
